Today is 8th April 2020, my 4th week of self-quarantine or working from home. It’s 4.08 pm, I already did my chores, took 2 meals, took the med for my skin condition (which is only vitamin actually. I’ll tell you later up about this so called skin condition. *hopefully), a glass of my daily lemon water for my main source of vitamin C and haven’t took any shower whatsoever.
It is kind of hard to admit that I’m bored. It just sounds very ungrateful and shallow. I mean by looking at the social media -mainly instagram- we could see many people out there are struggling real hard facing this pandemic situation. And here I am with my minor boredom problem, whining like a toddler not having its regular nap time. I know. *sigh
But still, I’m physically okay, but my mind? I don’t think so. I think I need to start feeling worry in order to try finding solution to get out of this depressing routine of nothingness, passionless that I’m having at the moment. It’s been days since I have the urge to turn on my laptop. To be honest, I’m starting to feel sick looking at my laptop. Even my phone. The news has its way of adding more pressure to my brain. Or maybe I’m just not that good being under pressure. Well, if it’s not the only thing that could connect me with some important people in my life (family, significant other, friends, etc.), I will probably leave my phone alone for the entire day.
I just want to stay sane. It actually feels harder than the test we got during school time.
Last week was still fun, I got to cook some of my favorite foods. But even cooking gets tiring at some point. Not to mention the fear of getting out there to the market taking risks of being exposed to the virus. Not being over dramatic, but fear is by far a very dangerous silent killer. Because it never came alone. Fear always comes with its best friends, like anxiety, depression and such. Those things could easily turn us into a reckless unreasonably paranoid. And then there goes our immune system..
Now I oddly find it interesting to not think overly. Over the virus, the situation that we’re in, the future that hasn’t come or anything that has the ability to drain my mental energy down. All I want to do now, is just watching my 5 years old little sister and my pregnant cat. It’s so mundane yet relaxing at the same time. They don’t worry about the outbreak out there, the fear of death, hunger, political movement or even what tomorrow will be.
My little sister will woke up happy with her silly grin asking for donuts with cheese. She’ll happily taking a shower while reciting verses that she’s currently memorizing (We told her like a million times she’s not supposed to recite them while in the bathroom, but well, kids will always be kids). Sometimes she sulks over small little things. She’s very fond of noodle and doesn’t like meat. Not sure why for now, but maybe because noodle is easier to chew. She’ll probably become a vegan in the future. Who knows, right?
My cat however will wait outside my door to get into my room. Every freaking morning. I don’t let her sleep at night inside because she’ll be annoyingly wanting to go outside in the middle of the night. She loves taking a nap in my room, by the way. Probably because she’s pregnant? My grandma said my room is cooler. Yup. She’s pregnant-don’t ask me how long, since I have no idea. I think it’s her fourth time being pregnant though. Even though she’s a very tiny cat, the little lady sure has her way with the boys around here. LOL. She’s like an IT girl or something I guess. Because we often find male cats fighting in front of the house, God knows for what, but we guess it’s probably because of our little princess here.
Her name is Pao, if anyone curious. She’s a half breed. Her mom was an old sick angora cat left alone by our neighbor. My grandma as always, braced the poor thing, fed her until she became this beautiful healthy cat with clear yellow eyes and long black hair again. Then one of the male cat got her pregnant. Oh, that simple. Anyway, someone took Pao’s mom away when she was just a baby. We don’t know who, but she was just gone. Pao is the only memory left of her.
Long story short, another pregnant cat came to our house, gave birth and took Pao in. She breastfed her along with her other babies. One of the baby turned into a very big male cat (his name is Buis) and has been chasing after Pao since forever. But she's always been interested with another cat outside the house. Grandma said Pao couldn’t do it because she considers Buis as brother. I failed to explain to grandma that I remember when I was younger our female cat (I forgot her name, it’s a long time ago) got pregnant by her own kid, so I just leave my grandma alone. And how on earth we know her own kid impregnated the cat? We pay attention to the gene gambling. I don’t know. We just know. Why the talk of my cats turned this frustrating?
Bottoms up, I like watching my happy little sister being happy. I also like watching Pao does her grooming lazily. The lady always takes her time. Nothing could rush her or scare her – except the sound of thunder. It seriously was the funniest thing to watch. The cat shook, literally. Despite all the things happened out there. The changing. It's very easy to just give in. But I just wish I would be able to enjoy another mundane day watching my sister and our pregnant cat doing their things.
For all its worth, I am grateful. For their existence that keeps my sanity intact in these incredibly confusing time. And for whoever outside, I sincerely hope you can find yours too.
Now I seriously need to get back to work again..
Now I seriously need to get back to work again..
No comments:
Post a Comment