It's the end of the semester. Yeaaaay..
The ending of this semester gives me an odd mixed feeling. I feel relieved but also incredulous at the same time. I mean.. do I really get through the whole spectacle unharmed? well.. maybe just a little, at least emotionally.
There are so many things that I'd like to write, but somehow things are really complicated and I don't think I will be able to untangle everything right now. I mean.. being an English teacher itself is very challenging. So I spent a lot of energy to survive the whole semester. Not to mention my private life that has gone to an unexpected extend. Does that even make any sense?
A lot of things happened in the past 2 months. And I still couldn't believe myself that things are going this way. I finished my report, the events at school, and I met someone that surprisingly seems pretty much compatible with me in a way or two. Things are escalated quickly. And I don't know how it will end, although I hope somehow it will have a happy ending.
But again, I've been practicing self control for the past 2 years. I won't let myself feeling too much or building hope too much before I'm sure that it is safe for me to do so. Before I'm sure that the other party is reciprocating, in my own term. Is it selfish? For someone that had been hurt badly, I surely hope it is not. Protecting your heart from another wound is necessary. Hopefully the other party understands and patients enough to deal with all of the baggage that I bring.
It's the end of the semester, and it's almost the end of the year. I am grateful.
